“I don’t know what it’s like for straight couples whose kids are, perhaps, delivered on the wings of a gentle stork. Our babies were dropped from the aptly named “Enola Gay” on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. We had talked about this. We had “couple’s therepized” about this. We spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on our little “Manhattan Projects.” Friends, family, and random people on the street warned us with eye rolls, cynical laughs and “Wait, wait, you don’t know what’s coming for you.” Still nothing could prepare us for the mushroom cloud of sleep deprivation, lost freedom, and the scorched earth of what used to be a “gay lifestyle” at the gym and out with friends. And worst of all, these “Little Boys” were living, breathing (screaming) humans, and the guilt of not knowing if we were taking care of them correctly ― often not even wanting to take care of them at all – that was almost unbearable.” (From the Huff Post column that inspired this blog)
I’m here to tell the truth about parenting. The good, the bad and the “we should have known.” While gay adoption has existed for many years, more and more of us are making a step forward from becoming “the fun guncles” and have biological kids via IVF, which is still relatively new. Gay parenting is becoming even more common, and it’s changing parenting forever. Let’s document it.
Yanir (Yan) Dekel is originally from Tel Aviv, served as a Hollywood entertainment journalist for Israel’s top online news websites, magazines, TV and radio. Since 2011, he has been working as a digital consultant, providing freelance design, web programming and social media marketing services for individuals and non-profit organizations, specializing in the LGBTQ community. Dekel’s debut book, “Imperfect Thing Called Love,” was published in 2015. His op-eds in English were published in the Huffington Post, The Jerusalem Post, The Forward to name but a few. Before coming to the U.S., Dekel managed PR for top Israeli popstars as part of the major Israeli record label Helicon Music, and its artists-management label Pop Art.
- Jewish Podcast Spotlight: “Daddy Squared” (Jewish Boston, August 12, 2020)
- Queer Talk Podcast interview (June 24, 2020)
- Blog Profiles: LGBTQ Parenting Blogs (PR Newswire blog, June 1, 2020)
- Editor Mom Tackles What It Means to Be a Mom in a ‘Gender-Neutral’ World (Yahoo! Lifestyle, March 2, 2020)
- (reprint) Dads Share What It Was Like to Have Genetically Tied Twins Using a Surrogate (Yahho! Lifestyle, February 25, 2020)
- 2 Dads Share What It Was Like to Have Genetically Tied Twins Using a Surrogate — It’s Incredible (POPSUGAR, February 25, 2020)
- Family Building for Gay Men: Who is on your team? (Love is Family, February 13, 2020)
- These Jewish dads are tackling gay fatherhood, one podcast at a time (The Forward, February 10, 2020)
- No, Using a Surrogate Doesn’t ‘Diminish Respect for Motherhood’ (Glamour, December 10, 2019)
- David Burtka on adjusting to life with kids: ‘You have to be open to change’ (Gay Star News, May 21, 2019)
- The Parenting Podcast for Queer Men (MeansHappy, December 10 2018)